"I think he's breathing, Gene". This was the first thing I heard as I opened my eyes to see the glass chamber door in front of me rise up, clearing out the icy frost which had strained my lungs and made it difficult for me to breathe. I was completely naked and feeling the effects of what seemed like hypothermia, at least, that's how hypothermia felt when I got it during the war. The pounding in my head was enough to make me want to make me want too cry out for God's mercy, and the uneasiness I felt during quick movements paralled that of a flashbang grenade's blast. This was certainly the biggest amount of discomfort I had ever experienced in my life and I didn't even know where I was or what was going on.
As I pondered my situation, I could hear voices past the buzzing in my ears. "Good, then the Machine does it's job. Hoist him up and we'll start running diagnostics. Oh, and test the artificial homeostasis on his vitals." Before I had any time to analyze all of this, two men in lab coats grabbed a hold of my arms. Despite my wary and confused state, I immediately pulled away and demanded answers. "Oh no, no more diagnostics and no more fuckin' tests until I know exactly who the FUCK you guys are and why I'm naked and freezing my ass off!". The men in the white coats stepped back to make way for an older, much more sinister looking fellow, also sporting the same sort of jacket, just with a lot more medals and patches. "So, you've got a little renegade attitude do you?", he said with an evil grin. "Adorable. For your sake, I just hope this is a side effect of the Machine, or else you won't be around much longer to enjoy the new life we've made possible for you."
His devilish sneer and the words that hissed out of it grew darker still, and the beads of cold sweat running down my back continued with more and more fear inside each drop. "Um, new life? What do you mean new life? I'm still Tom Kent, and I still live by the overpass, with Jerry and Blade, right?" I nervously quiered, half of me not wanting to even know the true answer. "If you want to go back to that dusthole shack, you may. At your own free will. No one and nothing is going to make you go back there ever again, Thomas", he said as if it was going to make any sense to me at all. What did he mean at my own free will? I wasn't anyone's slave. I opened my mouth to ask what he was trying to say, but almost as quickly as I had wondered, I knew. The hunger! The hunger was all gone. The sickness, the insanity, the visions and most of all the hunger had been stricken from my body. "Did you-", I started to say. "Yes," the doctor interrupted, "Thomas, we have completely erased all of your physical, mental, and spiritual attatchements to the drug Methamphetamine, also known as Crystal Meth."
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Canary word: Present
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125,015 Literary Works • 672,849 Reviews
Yeah dude for real, I totally, and completely forgot to add that this is just part of it. Hahaha I must seem like a really bad writer now, yeah this was just one part of a story I'm working on, not even close to the entire thing at all
Okay, I'm going to be brutally honest. Sorry if I offend you. This piece needs some work. It starts off really well, but the ending is pretty weak. Mainly how the ending is worded; it's way too simple. The part where he starts to trust the doctor is quite confusing; most would feel threatened by his statements. This piece has a lot of potential; but you need to expand on the characters. Right now it feels like just a snippet from a much larger tale. I can see this being a fantastic piece if you make it larger. Good luck.